sunday, oct 29, 2000
hunter dan action figure
create your own hunting scenarios
"help guide hunter dan as he patiently waits for a trophy whitetail in his favorite treestand."
in michigan, hunter dan would get drunk and fall out of his tree stand, landing atop a fire ant mound and breaking both legs. we get a few like that every year.
posted by quonsar at 9:42 pm
the gallery of regretable [sic] bloomers
fashionable and quirky clam covers
"for todays woman who refuses to accept that scratchy, lacy, satinly [sic] and uncomfortable ass floss are the only socially relevant, socially acceptable feminine lingere [sic]."
er, that would be 'regrettable', 'satiny', and 'lingerie'. but hey, nice underpants!
posted by quonsar at 9:00 pm
ficus fever is sweeping the nation
ficuses are running for office around the country
a potted plant may already be campaigning in your state.
posted by quonsar at 8:47 pm
the girls of election2k
at last, rational voting criteria
the most important aspect of the presidential campaign this year is not where the candidates stand on the issues. it's who has the hottest daughters.
posted by quonsar at 8:36 pm
baaah! baaah!
a man, a hayloft, a bound ewe in a blue nightie
dogs and horses are the most common victims, the humane society said.
posted by quonsar at 6:51 pm
alligator fetches retriever
"we don't live in kansas" remarks local man
and that wasn't toto, either...
posted by quonsar at 4:18 pm
georgewbush.com url links anywhere
coalition=your-site-here!
heh heh. the possibilities are endless...
posted by quonsar at 3:35 pm
israeli tanks flee superior palestinian firepower
imagine the damage grownups could do
this image eloquently conveys the absurdity occurring in the middle east. hello! thats a child!
posted by quonsar at 2:48 pm
vickie: my computer totally hates me!
computer: god, do i hate that bitch!
it's user versus computer in this onion piece.
posted by quonsar at 1:02 pm
marijuana no longer a gateway drug
fda reports findings
this morning the food and drug administration announced that surveys have uncovered evidence to the contrary.

extemporaneous note: it's not deja vu. daylight savings time rolled back, and it's 1:03 all over again.
posted by quonsar at 1:03 am
rubber nub infotainment
info what?
one french junk food menu, two tv commercials and the soundtrack from a drive-in theater concession stand promo. makes perfect sense to me.
posted by quonsar at 1:03 am
air disaster dot com
"a must see website for every airline passenger"
planes dropping out of the sky? these guys got it covered.
posted by quonsar at 12:21 am
saturday, oct 28, 2000
got rectal tubes?
x-ray opaque rubber with funnel end and open tip
nonsterile, too. ick.
posted by quonsar at 8:44 pm
in pursuit of the american dream
you can't keep a good man down
this man isn't sitting on his duff waiting for some government program to provide for his needs.
posted by quonsar at 7:42 pm
al gore's other invention
hackers stunned, disillusioned worldwide
gore's device promises to make life very difficult for hackers, while duffers play through unimpeded.
posted by quonsar at 7:17 pm
cindy's gone cut-off crazy!!
simply flabulous, dahlink
how did calvin klein ever miss this one?
posted by quonsar at 5:55 pm
special olympics
i can do this. really.
tonya harding always wanted to compete.
posted by quonsar at 3:38 pm
kidstoned® chewable valium
leaves them still, silent, and smiley.
"all you need to do is check their breathing once in a while, or simply poke them with a stick! the barbituate the whole family can enjoy!"
posted by quonsar at 3:22 pm
thursday, oct 26, 2000
gw's lil' red bong
partisan politics prods passionate parody page providers
"if GW and/or his minions would like to BUY the site from me (like they've done for so many OTHER "Anti-Dubya" sites), that's cool!"
if he actually is buying anti sites, then he's even stupider than these pictures make him look.
posted by quonsar at 10:16 pm
i have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house
dating russell's daughters
meet weird russell. he lays down the law on dating his daughters, then he offers to sell you his daughters.
posted by quonsar at 9:34 pm
queen quite likes her singing rubber fish
billy bass boggles british royalty
"the sun said the queen was given the toy by another member of the royal family and bursts out laughing every time it is switched on and starts to twitch and croon."
i'd pay to see that.
landed by quonsar at 9:02 pm
wednesday, oct 25, 2000
i love the smell of gorgonzola in the morning
the power of cheesy linkage
from cheese art to cheese.com to the cheese society to cheese wars, if there's one thing the web offers, it's plenty of cheese. oh, and yes, virginia, there is a cheesecam.
posted by quonsar at 9:15 pm
corncam: watching corn grow
you knew the internet was good for something
if you can manage to tear yourself away, there's also the soybean cam.
posted by quonsar at 7:35 pm
there once was a cam from nantucket
when the girls stroll on by i could, uh, um, never mind...
this is going to turn into a camfest, i fear.
posted by quonsar at 7:17 pm
moosecam: moose of the day
a moose a day probably keeps something away
as always, we apologise for the gratuitous moose reference. those responsible have been sacked.
contributed by shelldrake at 6:39 pm
tuesday, oct 24, 2000
letter 'i' found dead
letter 'e' reportedly in coma
"A gunshot wound to the dot is the suspected cause of death."
posted by quonsar at 8:46 pm
aunt ednalou's rancid rabbit and squirrel scrotum stew
mmmm mmmmm goood
"squirrel scrotum has a lot of protein and it's low in fat."
west virginia passed a law three years ago allowing motorists to keep anything they knocked over on the state's roads. that doesn't mean they have to cook it...
posted by quonsar at 6:07 pm