sunday, apr 8, 2001
quonsar at 6:04 pm
everybody needs a little Bush
"The most powerful man in the world is now yours to control!"
quonsar at 5:36 pm
this won't hurt a bit
quonsar at 3:55 pm
national masturbate-a-thon
come for a cause
"Have friends and strangers sponsor you per minute of self-pleasuring."
quonsar at 2:57 pm
grow your own horns
do-it-yourself Gothic fashion
"If you really wanna grow horns, you'd better get thyself to Three Mile Island and stick your head under the nice hot water that runs off the plutonium rods. But if you just want to look like you grew horns, you've come to the right place."
quonsar at 10:43 am
female brown trout regularly fake orgasms
quonsar at 10:40 am
friday, apr 6, 2001

quonsar at 6:21 pm
bones and raw food
"the healthy way to feed your dog!"
quonsar at 6:15 pm
thursday, apr 5, 2001

quonsar at 8:11 pm
braiding garlic
internet educational opportunity #499,783
quonsar at 8:05 pm
make billions doing absolutely no work!
quonsar at 8:03 pm
tuesday, apr 3, 2001
the pygmy shrew
shelldrake at 10:15 pm
caffeinated meatloaf
our newest caffeine delivery vehicle!
"This 3-pound meatloaf serves 6-8 tired people in need of a meaty energy boost. Handmade by out-of-work dotcommers and flash-frozen for freshest delivery to your door."
shelldrake at 10:14 pm

quonsar at 6:28 pm
virtual sushi
it's still raw fish, even over TCP/IP...
quonsar at 6:20 pm
approach the great and powerful, the all-knowing, toaster oracle
quonsar at 6:16 pm
britney spears to speak at MIT
to deliver a major address on the history of western music
"in which I provide evidence as to what makes Beethoven and Bach almost as great as I am."
quonsar at 6:13 pm
monday, apr 2, 2001
the fifty dollar plan
shelldrake at 11:07 pm
dick pound
shelldrake at 10:11 pm
zapman products (.com)
sometimes canine caretakers need a small shock to the system
"Zapman products are safe, effective, and guaranteed to spark behavioral modification in humans that will directly improve animal lives!"
quonsar at 10:08 pm