quonsar at 11:02 am
"Go Forth And Bring All Other Small Furry Mammalian Religions Under The Umbrella Of The Gerbil King, For Only There Can We Live In Harmony"
eBlort: timely, relevant terror links for disquieted minds
quonsar at 10:26 am
A: try your vacuum cleaner. it sucks as much as AOL.
quonsar at 6:36 am
"These Pocket Tins are adorned with Hindu match box labels featuring images of multi-armed Hindu deities. Four assorted styles."
they're the perfect size to hold all of your hindus.
quonsar at 6:26 am
bruce triplets exiled!
according to a highly-placed source, the well-known identical triplet webloggers and gay rights spokes-negroes have been exiled from their place of work for 3 days without remuneration. our highly-placed source mumbled something about 'flogging the log during break' right before he passed out. [shrug]. unfortunately, blort's part time seasonal temporary fact checker is interviewing with a tabloid tonight, so this preliminary report will have to do in the absence of any confirming assets on the ground.
posting in place of daddy today is BiLLy at 3:25 am
|the case of the cottingley fairies|
"In 1917 two innocent-seeming English schoolgirls took what they claimed were close-up photographs of winged fairies dancing amid the foliage and thereby launched a deception that managed to fool many people over the following years."
quonsar at 2:46 am
50 ways to get bin laden
"just stab him in the back, jack
blow up the cave, dave
step on his veil, dale
just listen to me!
hit him with the bus, gus
then send him a SCUD, bud
just hang him from a tree, lee
so we can stay free."
note: 2.59 meg MP3 file
quonsar at 8:44 pm
highlighting the heads of science
"To propose yourself or another luxuriantly, flowingly haired scientist for membership in the club, please send info to: LUXURIANT HAIR SCIENCE c/o email@example.com. Please include a URL that points to an evidentiary photograph or drawing in which the luxuriant, flowing hair (LFH) is clearly evident."
quonsar at 2:21 pm
quonsar at 11:54 am
women can bring down the taliban
"Imagine millions of pages of XXX porn carpeting the rugged Afghan terrain. You've seen what the women over there are forced to wear. When the Taliban forces get to see what they are missing, they will be too distracted to fight. They won't be polishing their rifles, they will be too busy polishing something else."
quonsar at 12:24 am
here we come...
walking down the street...
we get incredible looks from...
everyone we meet...
quonsar at 11:22 pm
|do the cloud blort munch!|
"Imagine sitting on a cloud eating Cloud Blort Munchies in the sky! They taste like a cool crisp green apple! They are a rebuilding food! Say, "I AM REBUILDING!" Rebuild! Rebuild! Rebuild! Imagine eating them as they float into your mouth! Relax and chew them slowly! They are absolutely refreshing!"
and when you've eaten your fill, visit the blorts on planet blortland.
(not an affiliate of everlasting blort. not intended to encourage underaged blort. we do not hire out of work blort.)
quonsar at 9:49 pm
|the most puissant charles f. van etten, general grand master, general grand council, cryptic masons international|
quonsar at 9:18 pm
quonsar at 8:57 pm
quonsar at 10:19 pm
update: they've changed the name
are they insane over at fbi or what? is there any good reason to name this press release 'skyfall.htm'? when did chicken little take over the bureau website? and if there is good reason, why not just say so? and what's up with the cia and thier silly terrorbuster logo? i have never felt less confidence in my government, and this sort of juvenile claptrap, (even though quonsar likes juvenile claptrap) certainly isn't helping to restore any.
quonsar at 6:50 pm
"dedicated to the medical, spiritual and recreational use of magic mushrooms"
quonsar at 6:35 pm
|a lot of muslims are waving this poster around|
muslims chant anti-bert slogans
islamists pray for berts safety
bert and osama
politics makes strange bedfellows
bert is evil
meet usama bert laden
meet osama bart laden
quonsar at 10:18 pm
this kid is money!
"We're exploiting a national tragedy! Again! We picked this photo because we felt it would deliver the highest click-thru rate. And we're taking this kid all the way to the bank!
quonsar at 2:07 pm
death rates for twelve age groups from malignant neoplasms of genital organs
quonsar at 11:27 pm
"Until further notice, all violent humor is to be replaced by sexist humor. Similarly, all ethnic humor is to be replaced by obesity humor. Jokes about death are to be replaced by jokes about long-term illness."
quonsar at 11:18 pm
ship with the best, why ship with the rest?
"In a recent study the effects of semen shipments being sent with Equine Semen Transporters and their competition were compared."
shelldrake at 7:36 pm
caring craig and honest nick's ramadan bonanza
even in the united arab emirates, a used car dealer is a used car dealer.
quonsar at 7:22 pm
eye em de mos brillyant webmaster
quonsar at 6:28 pm
the internet now returns to its regularly scheduled conspiracy theorizing.
quonsar at 5:08 pm
it's still no help with getting laid in the first place though.
quonsar at 4:34 pm
things you probably didn't know
we apologize for the serious, non-absurd link. we won't do it again. not very often, anyway.
quonsar at 3:14 pm
quonsar at 2:09 pm
joint venture of all the Scary Companies your Mother warned you about
"MusicNOT will soon offer the exact same crap you hear on the radio via downloads in our specialized format - for assloads of cash, of course."
quonsar at 2:06 pm
quonsar at 2:16 am