"The codpiece began as a flat piece of material covering an improvement in men's fashion -- a well placed slit. This new, "easy access" region in men's pants allowed men to relieve themselves while standing without lowering their pants. Soon after this technological breakthrough was coined the popular after ale phrase "Once more into the breeches."
madamjujujive at 8:39 pm
"It looks like an alligator clip, it works like an alligator clip, it must be an alligator clip! 2” long OA, 7/8” from tip of jaw to hinge point. Chromed steel with a screw for attaching the wire. If you don’t know what an alligator clip is, you shouldn’t buy one."
madamjujujive at 8:31 pm
Nineteen forty-four was the most extreme year during war in Bergen. The Explosion in Vågen 20th. of April was the biggest disaster in Norway, and the bombing of Laksevåg and Nøstet in October, were two of the most awful accidents when it comes to people getting killed. The events of the year are properly described in several books and articles, also in details through a lot of interviews. The children's angle however, is missing more or less completely."
quonsar at 8:11 pm
quonsar at 4:08 pm
a brie history of time
"This website is entirely fictitious. Any similarity to actual cheese, pastuerised or unpastuerised, is purely coincidental. No animals were harmed in the filming of this web site, except the cows given recombinant Bovine Growth Hormone to force them to produce unnatural quantities of milk for the dairy industry."
quonsar at 2:02 pm
and the lord said unto them, "go ye forth into the land of beer and nuts, and bowl ye with nuns."
madamjujujive at 1:33 pm
plan expected to bring peace "very suddenly"
"The Palestinian leadership announced today that it would be stepping up its campaign of suicide attacks by configuring the entire state of Palestine as "one bloody great enormous bomb". The plan is seen as a last ditch attempt by the Palestinians to bring peace and stability to the region, as well a quelling its own dissenters, by "utterly destroying them all, as well our Israeli neighbours".
quonsar at 9:20 pm
"He lived his life for others
As an officer of the law
Til the Lord told him to set aside his badge
For he had a different call.
The Lord said go back to the rodeo
You always loved so well
Share my love with every cowboy
It might keep them out of Hell."
quonsar at 12:25 pm
note to perverts and union secretaries: link contains no actual vaginal images either with or without yeast infections.
quonsar at 11:39 am
What Microsoft Really Means To Say
"For his novel "1984" George Orwell developed "Newspeak", a modified English language using ambiguous or deceptive words, metaphors, or euphemisms to influence public opinion on various matters - a common business practice refined to an exacting science by news media, marketing companies, and corporate PR departments. Nowhere is Newspeak more perfected than in the halls of the Microsoft Campus in Redmond, Washington - a place where legions of well-paid spin-meisters attempt to morph the reality of their company's business, legal, and product information into innocuous -sounding, politically-correct, calm-inducing statements when released to the public."
madamjujujive at 10:57 am
god hates barbers
"hair croppers are wicked and sinners before the Lord exceedingly, are violent and doom nations, are abominable to God, are worthy of damnation for their vile, depraved, unnatural grooming practices. They are lower than rats because they are filthy, impudent and selfish. They produce by their very presence in society a kind of mass intoxication from their wine made from the grapes of Clairol, from the vine of Brillcream, and the fields of mousse which poisons society's mores with the poison of dragons and the cruel venom of asps."
quonsar at 8:54 am
"These train times are produced by an experimental system: some of the information shown may be wrong."
quonsar at 8:40 am
"The Big Book of Sign Language - For decades, mankind has longed to be deaf. Jet engines, auto horns, the dullification of modern popular music - any one of these things alone might be worth the price of admission to a wholly silent world. So how does one sign up?"
quonsar at 12:26 am
"We here at the LNSEMSF believe that Leonard Nimoy is excellent, and salsa is excellent, and if Leonard Nimoy would eat more salsa, he would become an unstoppable force of excellence. For anybody doubting this belief, we have researched the projected level of Leonard Nimoy's excellence with and without salsa. Here are the findings..."
quonsar at 7:39 pm
"Who can I sponsor? What will my money provide?
US$50 provides for milk formula and fruit from rescue until the orphan is independent 9 months later
US$38 provides for medical treatment and feeding for a minimum of 8 weeks plus care of baby until it can be reunited with its mother.
US$25 provides for treatment and feeding for 6 weeks."
madamjujujive at 11:19 am
"Lady Thatcher's larger-than-life status as Britain's most loved and hated prime minister since Sir Winston Churchill was confirmed yesterday when a man decapitated the marble statue of the former Conservative leader on display at the Guildhall Art Gallery in the City of London. The head on the two-ton statue, which is an imposing eight feet high, was knocked off after the assailant deployed a metal rope support stanchion."
quonsar at 11:02 am
"is a WRITE-IN candidate against Katherine Harris in the Republican Primary for Florida’s 13th Congressional District."
quonsar at 10:15 am
catching the attention of the dashing gentleman across the room, with his distinguished beard and his ivory-handled cane, effluvia gnawed coquettishly on her fan.
madamjujujive at 11:26 pm
"Manualism is the art of producing music by squeezing one's hands together. It takes many years of practice and even then is still quite difficult to control. It may be one of the hardest instruments in the world to play. The number of people who are performing manualism on stage is extremely few. See also hand farting."
madamhandfartjive at 10:39 pm
rama llama ding dongs.
quonsar at 9:45 pm
a device which provides physical and biochemical support for an animal's head which has been severed from its body
quonsar at 11:34 pm
"Broken glass has at least two mechanisms for slashing a person diving through a window: its weight and its inertia. First, large heavy shards of glass can fall like guillotines, slicing off body parts. Second, when a person jumps or, even worse, drives a motorcycle through a window, the shards of glass tend to stay in place due to their inertia."
madamjujujive at 9:11 pm
"Chills 12- and 16-ounce cans of beer from room temperature in TWO MINUTES using just a little ice and water! Featuring PATENTED XTR Technology, this battery-operated invention spins cans in ice cold water. This creates a vortex within the can that exposes all of the beer to the chilled aluminum skin AS FAST AS POSSIBLE!"
quonsar at 7:29 pm
Israel reveals evidence of menagerie of hate
"The civilised world recoiled in disgust as a horrifying photo of a Palestinian kitten dressed as a suicide bomber was released by Israel yesterday. It is said to have been found at a militant's home in the West Bank city of Hebron and appears to be genuine. And it is a bleak new symbol of despair in the turmoil of the Middle East. The cat wears a belt of explosives and two bandoliers of bullets."
quonsar at 6:32 pm