us5817124: anal dilator with self-expanding element
"a generally cylinder-shaped device configured for insertion through an anus into a rectum, said device comprising three contiguous regions, including a first end region which is adapted for insertion into the rectum, a middle region which is adapted for positioning within and for dilating an anal sphincter muscle, and a last end region which is adapted to be outside of the body between the buttocks for preventing migration of said device through the anus and into the rectum."
quonsar at 6:04 pm
quonsar at 7:42 pm
"Gaye's eighteen years experience and professional approach with clients and customers will ensure that you receive Ultimate Service® from her... Gaye confidently handles many relocation moves and has a proven track record in the community. Don't putter around with your largest investment, call Gaye Males today!"
melinika at 6:15 pm
the first device designed exclusively for sexual excitement of the female genitalia.
"Orgasms are the ultimate in satisfaction, but did you know that you are also benefiting your health when you experience this explosion of pleasure? Discover the benefits of orgasm. Are you missing out?"
quonsar at 3:14 am
"If you can hear the midi file, and it gets under your skin, don't turn your speakers off. The demons absolutely hate this song. The more this bothers you, the more demon infested you are. Tape the song and play it in your home over and over."
quonsar at 1:52 am
inflatable ballerina costume -- adult
"sure to make you the comic hit at any Halloween Party. The cool and comfortable costume self inflates and requires 3 "AA" batteries (not included)"
a tip o' the blort beanie to snarkymalarkey
quonsar at 1:08 am
well, they say it's your birthday!
it's my birthday too, yeah!
today was our third birthday at everlasting blort, and by chance, also presurfer's birthday (though he didn't come to our server until later, after he was already a rich and famous blogger). well, um, birthdays suck when you get to be our age and we don't want to dwell on it, so we'll just mumble 'thanks for reading' crankily and go back to surfing and chugging our Geritol™ Slurpees®. you damn kids stay off the lawn, you hear?
quonsar & madamjujujive at 11:34 pm
toilet seat galactika
"The real clou of the luminous toilet seat is the very tricky elektronic processor. When opening the cover the LED light will be dimmed on slowly and kindle their full power after 5 seconds. When closing the cover the LED light will be dimmed off gently."
madamjujujive at 1:25 am
madamjujujive at 1:18 am
man eating plant page
"Plants with dark and sinister thoughts. Plants that lust for the taste of blood and human flesh. Plants that have been sent to earth by aliens to conquer the world. Science experiments gone very very wrong. Plants that demand human sacrifice. Plants that laugh at sentence fragments."
quonsar at 10:04 pm